But first, let me tell you why I fell, not in love, but into a teeny-bopper crush with the Twilight books.

I've always had this sadistic infatuation with forbidden love.  Romeo and Juliet was too sappy for my taste because there could have been a lot of ways for the two lovers to still live happily ever after.  But of course, it wouldn't have been as popular if Shakespeare wrote it like that.  Tragedy and forlorn endings are what makes a story so intimately attracting.  Other beauty and the beast type of stories have always engaged me like a moth to a flame.  The Phantom of the Opera, The Little Mermaid, Edward Scissorhands, Peter Pan, even the Goblin King who confessed to the young human girl Sarah in The Labyrinth took me by surprise with that line, "Everything I did, I did it for you."  So he wanted to keep her because he loved her.  Oh...  (I had such a huge crush on David Bowie as the Goblin King.)

Sidenote:  The song playing on this post is from the movie Labyrinth entitled "As The World Falls Down" written and performed by David Bowie.  I always imagine myself dancing with someone breathlessly handsome, endearing, and not human to this song.  

It's hard to say in words what I would feel whenever I had this affection for a fictitious character.  Sometimes it was so weird that I would keep it to myself instead of sharing it with friends who might find me a bit odd.  Being a young "tween" who had crushes on the strange and even a desire for that werewolf in Bram Stoker's Dracula who raped a girl... it really isn't something I would courageously engage in small talk.  That was my little secret.

But the feeling ignited again when I started reading the Twilight series.  It has been a long time since I have felt those "kilig" tingles at the back of my neck just by reading a book.  I knew exactly what Bella and Edward were feeling.  I knew the tension that they brought upon themselves.  I knew it was going to be a hard decision to either submit to love or forever say goodbye with a dying heart.  The books can be placed on the shelf alongside Sweet Valley High (I'm surprised that many of us had thought of this comparison).  It's still a good read.  My favorite one is Book 2:  New Moon and the author did a pretty good job in captivating her target audience.  But what I didn't know was the gigantic disappointment I had when I saw the movie.

I've seen spoilers.  I've read reviews.  I knew about the low ratings that Rotten Tomatoes gave but still, stubborn and hoping that my opinion would differ, I still went to see it.

During the trailers, the anticipation of the "Marble Chest!" and jokes about a cold hard quivering member kept me, Krisna and Pam acting like complete idiotic teenagers giggly for all the wrong reasons.  Then Twilight started.  So far it was okay, until Bella spoke and acted and until tweeners at the back of the cinema started squealing when Edward appeared that I couldn't hear the dialogue anymore.  The three of us had our mouths hanging with an O.M.G. expression because we knew it was down hill from there.

Couldn't they have found a better actress to play Bella?!  Sure, I had my doubts with Robert Pattinson playing Edward while watching trailers on youtube but he warmed up to me eventually (I hate his messy hair though... I just want to comb it so bad!).  But Kristen Stewart was for a word, awful.  I couldn't understand what expression she was trying to do, or why she kept eating her words that was already hard to understand.  I don't hate her, I just didn't like her work in this movie.  It lacked everything that the character Bella in the books had.

I took up Production Design for theater and the arts, and have had my experiences on acting, directing and working for theater, TV and movie projects that, while watching this rendition made me feel sick.  The director was supposedly a very good one, with her raw style of movies in the past, but... what she did on Twilight made me think otherwise.  Her eccentric character did not show in this movie.  There were a lot of scenes wherein I would be thinking, "Did she really want it to be like this?  Or was there a shortage of time or patience that made her just say "CUT!" and approved the scene?!  Or couldn't they even afford to go to a sunny beach instead of having a dreary cold scene for La Push?!  

The make up.  MAN!  When Carlisle entered the hospital scene it was "espasol" in the house!  We couldn't stop laughing.  It was too much.  Too much cake on the face.  The vampires all looked more human than they were supposed to be vampires.  And Jasper just looked gay.  He was cute with the baseball cap though.  Alice was entrancing and such a babe who lacked the spotlight, while Emmet was like a quarterback grinning wallflower and the girl playing Rosalie was so much more beautiful with her natural brown hair and skin tone rather than trying to be the most beautiful blonde vampire that ever existed.. There were times when Edward would have too much lipstick on. There was no consistency with the face make up.  Not even for the evil vampire trio who had the fantastic eerie entrance while gliding down that forest hill.  James was hot, and Victoria even hotter! There wasn't enough acting to show how horrifying they really were. 

One of the very few scenes I liked was their oh-so-slow kiss that started heating up so fast that by the time Edward jumped back to the wall with a thud, I was still trying to absorb the passion that had just happened.  I had to blink.  Did it really happen?

There were so many holes in this movie even for me who has read all four books!  Pam was ready to walk out while Krisna had her arms folded in an upset way while I was cringing and gritting my teeth.  Honestly, I was still hoping that the movie would get better once we passed the middle mark... but noooooo.  What a waste.

I should have done what I would normally do when a movie version of a book comes out.  Watch first, then read.  And in that way, I would sometimes appreciate the movie maybe more than reading the books first.  Lately, when I hear how top-grossing this film has become, it makes me want to pull my hair.  And when I heard that people are saying that the author, Stephenie Meyers, is the Jane Austen of this generation, I want to pull THEIR hairs!  How dare they say that.

I was so glad we didn't take our boyfriends to watch this movie.  I would be feeling guilty and horrible for dragging him into such an embarrassment.  

Our imagination is always the best movie maker.   Keep that in mind.